Hello there! I would like to welcome you to the newest addition of Blissfully Blended, “Ask A Diva“. Here, we Blended Divas will try and answer all your burning questions about step-parenting, blended families and all the nitty gritty in between. Because let’s face it – living a blended life is not always easy.

Our first question comes from a step-mom in a blended family, we’ll call her Jane. Jane writes: My stepson recently said some pretty hateful and untrue things about me and my husband. Now that he’s blown off steam, he’s fine and doesn’t want to talk about it. He wants to move on as if nothing happened… but I’m still hurt by the things he said. What do I do?

Oooo, this is quite a quandary. Luckily, this Diva has been in a similar situation. My little demon angel of a pre-teen daughter likes to write wonderful things about me and her father in her journal and then leave it out in the open for us to read. My first thoughts are either: A) Man, are you really that dumb? B) Man, are you really that mean? C) Are you almost a teen already??

As a Blended Step-Mom I think it is a combination of all of the above. Kids can be mean to their parents. They can be even meaner to their non-biological parents. What do they have to lose? At best they get a rise out of you and could even cause tension between you and your spouse. When my husband and I found the “mean and nasty journal entry” I got very upset and even cried – for days. My husband on the other hand shrugged his shoulders and said, “She is just being a kid. Didn’t you write mean things about your Mom in your journal?” “Uh… well, yeah. But she was my Mom and she was rotten and never let me do anything!” “My point exactly.”  Hmmph!

As step-parents we are placed in the most difficult of all parenting roles. Through marriage we must love our spouse’s children like our own and reap none of the rewards. We will always be looked at as the bad one or the ‘non-parent’. (Believe me, they like to bring that up) We will never receive our well deserved glory. In the end, we have to muster up the strength to let them voice their opinions, even when they cut us to the cord. We can only do the best we can. The rest is out of our control.

Jane, I would really try and address it with your stepson. At least explain how much his words hurt you. Maybe it will help him see the effects of losing his temper and he will start to look beyond the scope of just himself. Hope this helps!

Readers – What would you do? Any other advice or knowledgeable words of Blended wisdom? Feel free to share in the comments!

Don’t forget!! You can catch up with the divalicious Kat and the chaos that is boys over at the Sassy Irish Lassie!