Just One is an online journal written by Kelly. You can find the Just One archives here or access all of Blissfully Domestic’s online journals here.

As Violet has gotten older, we have gradually relaxed about matters of child-safety.  The gates have all come down.  The broken drawer locks have not been replaced.  Sharp things get left within reach.  The tempera paints are no longer hidden.  My friends with second and third children have yet to relax their vigilance and in some ways their older kids remain more reckless.  They have had no practice with making good judgements. The lock on the toilet seat eliminates the need to make a choice about whether or not it’s a good idea to flush Daddy’s keys.

Of course, lest you think I am too smug about my child’s maturity and good sense,  my daughter demands undivided attention even if she doesn’t need it.  Let’s be honest, trying to nurse a squalling newborn will leave you very little time for indulging the ever-changing whims of your preschooler.  Big sister will learn very quickly how to get that glass of water for herself when it becomes clear that Mommy is not getting up any time soon.

Without a new baby to divert my focus, I have to make a deliberate effort to let Violet take care of herself.  This includes  restraining myself from helping her get dressed or undressed.  I leave snacks in places where she can reach them and I encourage her to wash her hands by herself, even if it takes me longer to clean up the mess than it would have taken me to help her in the first place.  Now, if only I could feel the same way about the messes that my husband leaves behind.

photo by Kelly