How many languages do you speak?

Unlike many children today who are already learning a second language by the time they hit pre-school, I have never mastered a foreign language.  My first introduction at an attempt to become bi-lingual came in the 8th grade, when a handmade paper nameplate, with  ”Jolie-Marie” printed in fancy cursive writing, donned my desk during 3rd period French class.

It didn’t stick.

I am now, however, making a very joyful and focused attempt to become love-lingual, as I study and perfect my communication with my children, who at times speak a language that seems so very foreign.  Both of them  have different communication styles, and speak entirely different languages when it comes to expressing and receiving love.  Makes sense.  For they are, in fact, two different people after all.

And where I may have failed at French, I will make up for it by becoming love-lingual on behalf of my kids.

Gary Chapman, the guru of the Love Language series of books, takes a unique approach to helping parents of children and teens, as well as spouses, identify and “speak” the love languages that will most effectively communicate affection, respect, and commitment to those we love.  In The Five Love Languages of Children, first published in 1997, (but no less powerful now as it was then), he focuses specifically on the relationship between the parent and child, stressing the importance of learning your child’s love language as a means of deepening the emotional bond.

Just what are these “love languages”?

• Quality Time
• Words of Affirmation
• Gifts
• Acts of Service
• Physical Touch

Ask yourself: How do my children best express love? How do my children best receive love?

For example, my son is all about the kissing, hugging, and snuggling.  Physical touch is his primary way of both expressing and receiving love with quality time being a close second.  Physical touch provides him with comfort and security.  Playing Batcave insures him that I am available and interested in his life.

My daughter, however, speaks an entirely different language.  One in which I’d be smart to become fluent.  For her, it’s all about quality time. And, in fact, she will express how happy she is when the entire family is all together, engaging in a group activity (of any kind, really).   She shows her love by engaging in acts of service around the house, and, as long as she initiates,  physical touch.

Sounds like a lot to remember, right?

Well, unlike a foreign language, there is no need to memorize conjugations!  However, just be ready to learn new love languages as your child grows, for indeed, languages may change as children enter new life stages.

Are you love-lingual?  Take this week to watch, listen, and learn how your children best express and receive love.

Photo by Baloozer

Joline’s musings can be found at Cuppa Jo, never decaf, never an empty cup, the “stage” on which this former actress now performs.  Come by on Thrifty Thursdays to read about how this Mom is using real life solutions to find freedom from financial and material strain!