By katef | Leave A Comment
We have a problem with ‘firsts’ in our house.
“Me first!”
“No me first!”
“No me first, you went first last time”
“No I didn’t, you’ve had more firsts than I have”
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Why does everyone have to be first all the time?
Why is it a life and death, fall on the fall and scream till my ears bleed, situation if you don’t get to be first to put your seat belt on? Or first to brush your teeth? Or first to get served dinner? Or first to go out of the front door?
What is wrong with being second? Second is good. Second means you get to watch someone else do it before you, so you can suss out any pitfalls, and figure out the best way to tackle the situation.
There is no fair in this situation either. No matter how many ways you come up with to make a fair choice about who is first- it’s still not fair to someone. No matter if you keep lists and checks on who was first last time – it’s still not fair to someone. No matter if you loose the plot entirely and lay down the law with a “because I am your mum and I make the rules’”- it’s still not fair to someone.
I guess it’s hard when you are the exact same age as your sister, when you do almost everything together, when everything that happens to you almost always happens to her as well. I guess then, being first for some of the little things seems much more important.
Oh look..,there they go again!
“Me first…”
“No me first”
I can’t take it.
(Image by Stock.xchnge)
ABOUT katef
Kate is chief cook and clothes washer at the Pickle Farm in 'almost rural' Victoria, Australia, as w{read more}
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Oh my word, this is the story of my life. My twins are constantly fighting over who is first for the most mundane things. Thanks for the (much-needed) smile this morning.
My twins are teenagers today and it’s STILL like that.
Also, my second set, are exactly the same. Second fiddle is just not acceptable some days.
My sister and I are 13 months apart. I am not a competitive person (except if racing cars
) but generally.. i don’t get being competitive.. I dont care about first second last, third.. sport leaves me dry.. why? BUT.. do NOT for one second put my sister near me. I don’t even know if i would call it competitiveness.. It doesnt even feel about beating her.. it feels about being NOT her. I am 13 months older. I SHOULD have gotten to do stuff 13 months ahead of her. but no. NEVER. If i was allowed to shave my legs/go to a party/ride public transport/get my own dog… she was within a month. It just sucked. I felt wronged. She is uber competitive. If I do ANYTHING she does it. If I am good at something.. she HAS to do it until she gets some form of formal recognition then she will stop. (She has gone to ridiculous lengths to do so). As adults we both agree…Mum needed to recognise our individual skills and talents.. and not group us together.. I felt wronged.. she felt left out.
I would ban all talk of firsts. It is just banned. Use it.. and lose something of value. Explain life isn’t a competition and then praise the heck out them… Wow Child 1..love how you helped your sibling with their bag…. Gee child 2 I really appreciate how you had your seatbelt on when I asked. Do it at every single possible time they have a first.. THEN.. they are getting the positive attention – you aren’t hearing it.. and .. everyone feels valued and validated.