Having three girls ages nine, eight and four, It seems as if our house has a revolving door with endless children coming in and out of it. I grew up in a home that had six family members, but it was very similar in that we always had at least one extra person around. I loved it. I loved sharing my family with others, and I feel the same way today.

I have noticed that my girls’ friends fall into two categories. One category of children is the independent, well-mannered, well-behaved child, and the other category is the dependant, bad-mannered, usually badly-behaved child.

When a six or seven year old friend enters my home and demands, “Make me a snack”, or when they are going outside to play, “Get my shoes on me,“ I know I am in for a long day. I don’t enjoy correcting children when they don’t say their please and thank-you’s. It is so much more enjoyable to have a child over who is respectful and courteous, helpful and kind.

While writing this article, I called one of my girls over to me and said, “What are some things you do to be a great house guest at your friends’ house?” She said, “Well, if they have a garden, I would offer to help pull the weeds, and if they had a baby, I would offer to nurse the baby for them.” I was so glad to know she was so eager to help!

Of course no child is perfect, but there are some general guidelines I have taught my children about being a good house guest:

1. You can never say “thank you” enough to your friends’ parents.

2. Make yourself useful. Clear your own dishes and ask if you can help clear the table after a meal.

3. Obey the parents’ wishes without complaining.

4. Be on your best behavior so your friends’ parents will want you as a guest again.

5. Be responsible to pack up your own belongings when the play date is over.

6. Leave your friends’ room nicer than it was when you came.

7. Compliment your friends’ Mom or Dad on the wonderful meal they made for you.

8. Ask the parents how you can help them.

9. Be fair and kind to your friend.

10. Know your Mom and Dad’s cell phone number and home phone number in case your friends’ parents need to contact them.

I know this list seems basic. I cannot tell you how much it helps me have a great attitude about a play date if I know they will do most, or even just some of these things. These are the friends that I will let come over again and again with a happy and joyful heart. I would be even happier if they would weed my garden. If they tried to nurse my baby, I might need to talk to their parents.

Michelle is a full time stay at home Mom of three spirited little girls 9,8, and 4. Her husband is a pastor, and they have anything but “normal” lives. Follow their adventures at Dawning Light: www.michellewegner.typepad.com