As little as four years ago I was asked on a regular basis whether or not I was going to have more kids. Today I am constantly asked if I’m done.

What changed?

I had triplets. And now that I have five kids everyone assumes that I must be finished having children.

But the truth is, right now I don’t know the answer myself.

When my husband and I got married, I wanted six kids. Sounded like a good number to me – I knew I wanted a large family. But then we had trouble getting pregnant, and I figured if I had three kids I would be beyond thrilled.

When my first child was born, a singleton, I was so happy to have her. After almost four years of struggle I was a mom. And of course I wanted more so we tried again and had another singleton, my only son.

I had two kids and I could leave the stigma of infertility behind. But I knew I wanted a third and so we tried for just one more.

And got three more.

And the whole time I was pregnant I was convinced I was done. I wanted three, I was getting five, I should be happy and move on.

So what’s wrong with me?

I should be done but yet a small part of me wants more. Of course, the rational side of my brain tells me I can’t afford more, my body can’t take more and I wonder if I’d get multiples again.

Yet another part of me would love to have more kids. I have five, what’s another one or two right? And a small, secret part of me would love to have multiples again.

Am I crazy? Can you have more after multiples? I mean, of course you CAN but should you? How do you know when you’re done?  And what do you say when someone says to you “you’re done right?”  Because I don’t know the answer for myself or anyone else.

If only those babies weren’t so darn cute…