GoodNCrazy Book Review
Author: Lauren Kessler
Category: Tween/Teen Parenting

“A mother, a daughter, a journey through the thicket of adolescence.”

Oh how I can relate. I have a soon-to-be teenage girl. She is happy, exuberant and fun to be around. Right up until she isn’t! She can be mean and cruel and bossy and… we wonder who’s taken over her body.

Teenage Werewolf is exactly right!

Oh how I would love to be a fly on the wall in her 8^th grade. That’s exactly what this author did. (Well, not the fly part). As a writer and cultural anthropologist (and as a mom) she spent several weeks watching kids, teachers and her daughter in Jr. High, sitting in the back of classes and even eating lunch in the cafeteria.

Lauren Kessler first catalogs and dissects her daughter’s 7^th grade year. The ups and downs. The boys who are her friends. And the girls who sometimes are not. She also explores the mother-daughter relationship in our hi-speed, technology-on-Red Bull modern world. Comparing the good and bad of parenting a tween to her own turbulent upbringing and fear of turning into her mother! (Can we all commiserate?)

The best reason to read this book, isn’t that it’s teaching you all the ins and outs of perfect parenting (good luck finding THAT book!) but more because you realize Lizzie (the daughter) is willing to let her mom explore and attempt to understand her Jr. High world.  Imagine your own kid allowing you inside her world?

By the third chapter in, I gave up my highlighter and underlining. I stopped taking notes or thinking about how I would share what I was reading. I was just READING. Forget that it’s a non-fiction work describing twelve year old girl angst and joys. Forget that it’s a memoir of a mother listening, researching and learning about rearing the Myspace/Texting/Halo loving tween girl.

It’s simply a great story. Written so well, you keep turning pages well after 2AM.

Some examples of passages I dog-eared:

(Speaking to other moms) “They nod in solemn agreement as I offer the gory details of my life with Lizzie, the daily drama, the random acts of meanness, the horrific shopping trips.”

That random acts of meanness part made me jump up and go: Oh yeah I know that kid!

Or

(Comparing raising a girl to a teen boy) “An issue to a twelve-year-old boy is a misplaced Xbox control. Found. Solved.”

My little boy is only 6, but I can already tell his ‘issues’ are NOT going to be like my daughter’s issues!!

At one point, Lizzie has dropped below an acceptable grade in math. (Hello! It could have been my own daughter in the same grade, same age, same subject!) The parents are swift with their action, and all internet activities are turned off. But what surprises them is Lizzie not only expected this, but seems to welcome it? What I’d like to know is did they ever get to the bottom of her math issues? Because like them, we came up with a plan to help our daughter reduce outside activities, and she fairly welcomed the changes, but we never did figure out what the problem in her math class was!

I do have to say, they are much more permissive with their tween-turning-13, than I am. But I’m parenting a first born, and in the book Lizzie is a tail end 3^rd child after much older boy siblings.

• Would they be parenting her differently if she were their first?
• And… how will I differ in raising my younger kids…?
• From what she has learned will Ms. Kessler do anything different during the rest of Lizzie’s teen years?

How exciting is this?! I get to talk to the author and ask her questions in a follow up article! If you could ask her about her experience being involved in her daughter’s Jr. High experience, what would you ask?

Carissa received a sample copy of the book to review. Her thoughts and opinions are her own. No affiliate links were used.