By Peapodsquadmom | Leave A Comment
For years, teachers/school administrators insisted on separating multiples in the classroom. Some felt that being apart was the best way to ensure individual personality development. Others feared the whole switcheroo game. And still others were just worried about the added burden of having to tell identical students apart. Thankfully, with lobbying by parents who were armed with research and strong anecdotal data, this has changed. Nowadays, the parents have a voice in this discussion. But even for parents of multiples, this isn’t an easy debate. As with all other parenting issues, everyone has an opinion. And don’t you just know…those people are eager to share their opinions. It’s difficult to wade through the advice and theories. Bottom line, though? WE know our children. What works best for some families of multiples may not work for others.
We’re facing this decision with our triplets now. There are several factors involved for us. Two of our triplets are identical. They shared a placenta in utero. They have the same DNA. They began as a single embryo. They are TIGHT. I honestly fear that the devastation of being apart would be a detriment to their learning. Their sister, however, seems to thrive when she’s away from them and isn’t worrying about trying to push her way into their fierce bond. We don’t know for sure at this point what our choice will be. The best part of all of this, though, is that we now have a say. And we can do what feels right for our family. Goodness knows, it’s going to a challenge either way!
Facing this decision with your own multiples? Already navigated this particular road? We’d love to hear from you. Share your thoughts/experiences in the comment section.
Peapodsquadmom writes about her own adventures in multiplicity at Peapod Squad Stuff.
(photos by LizMarie)
ABOUT Peapodsquadmom
Monica is an elementary school music teacher, mom of 6-year-old triplets and wife to daddy extraordi{read more}
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I’m raising triplets (they’re my step-triplets…been raising them since they were one year old), and we’ve always separated them, from Kindergarten on….
They were together through pre-school and pre-kindergarten, and they fought and/or annoyed each other, non-stop. It was a nightmare.
Separating them gives them each a much needed break from one another, helps the teachers get to know them individually, and lessens the amount of complaints we hear about them from the teachers.
Good luck deciding what’s best for your family !
I have three children all within a year of each other. I think I will hold onto the youngest since he is almost a year younger than the oldest. I’m not sure if I will keep the older two together or not. They are very love each other and do well together, but are very different children. They are three days apart (adopted at 7 months). It will be an interesting discussion to have with my husband and school.
I don’t have multiples, but I live in a tiny town with a tinier school, and just wanted to chime in. If you lived here your triplets would have made up 1/3 of the kindergarten class last year! As it was, that class had 6 students… all girls. Talk about a nice student/teacher ratio!
We have fraternal boy/girl twins. They were together in daycare and preschool, but when they started kindergarten I asked the school to put them in separate classes and we’ve kept it that way ever since (they are now in 3rd grade). We decided to separate them because we felt like our daughter was holding our son back a little bit. They were (and still are) very competitive so she would always spout out an answer and never give him a chance to answer. Things like that. Our son has really grown since he’s been in a different class than his sister. But on the downside, they aren’t nearly as close as they were when they were younger. In fact they tell me they hate each other. I often wonder if they would still be inseparable if they spent their days together (or maybe it’s just because they are boy/girl). But I bet they will become close again as they get older and a little more mature…at least I hope.
Ahhhh….this is a tough one. My triplets are only one, and we are contemplating homeschooling, so I don’t even know if this will be an issue.
That said, if they go to school I will try to separate them. My oldest 2 are 364 days apart in age, and well….TIGHT. They can’t even sleep without the other one in sight. I separated them in preschool this year and it’s done wonders for my youngest self esteem. He realized that he is a separate person for the first time. LOL.
But…my heart is set on homeschool, so I hope I don’t even have to think about this!
Christa: http://www.quintooples.com
Our ID twin girls are very close and incredibly similar. While being together at preschool has caused some issues, being apart would cause way more. We have some work to do with encouraging them to let each other do their own thing sometimes but we’ve spoken with the school they will attend in 2010 and decided they will be in the same class (all be it a multi-age group class where they will do some things apart) until such time as they ask not to be.
But really, whatever works best for them at the time is what we are going for, as is everyone else I imagine!
My first set of twins is 4 right now and I’ve been debating this issue. I have a few concerns BUT I decided to ask them what they wanted and so far they want to be in separate classes. Sure, they are only 4 but I think I’ll go with what they decide.