My 13 month old baby recently said her first sentence: “No, no, stop it!” I’m so proud.

When I told her about it, my good friend jokingly commented, “Children live what they learn.” She was, of course, referencing the poem that begins, “If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.” Actually, my child’s sentence reflects the ordeal we go through at each diaper change these days, which leaves me feeling like I’ve wrestled with an octopus. I definitely use a lot of phrases like “No, no!”, “Stop it!”, and “I can’t get your diaper on right if you don’t stop wiggling your entire body!!” My baby hasn’t picked up on that last sentence yet though.

The conversation with my friend, and watching my child walk around, shaking her finger and saying, “No, no, no, no!” have definitely made me stop and reflect on my how I interact with all three of my children. I also have a 12 year old boy and a 10 year old girl. As a former school secretary, I know from experience that children are often a miniature version of their parents. Sometimes I could match a child with their parent not just by resemblance but by mannerism and way of talking.

Now that I’ve had twelve years of parenting under my (ever expanding) belt, I am starting to see the results of my parenting in my “tween-agers”. While they are in a stage where social interaction is becoming a more important part of their lives, I am convinced that home life and principles taught by parents are still the most influential character builders in their lives. In fact, I have heard experts say that the first five years of a child’s life are the most important, formative years. Anything after that is often re-adjustment and amendment of behavior. While personality and natural inclination are a huge part of a child’s persona, how the parents work with the child and teach him or her to deal with what God has naturally given them is paramount. Hopefully parents are teaching their children to see what is reality and truth with a balance of discipline and love.

I find that with my older children, I spend a lot of my time with them correcting them and analyzing their behavior. I think it is because I am one of those moms who over thinks everything: “Did I do enough while they were young to instill good character?”, “Do my children even listen to me?”, “Was I right in the decision I made to allow my child to have a certain friend or participate in a certain activity?” On and on the mommy doubt and mommy guilt drive me!

My recent goal in parenting is to delight in my children as they are. That doesn’t mean I’m going to neglect correcting them and quit teaching them about responsibility; but I am going to focus less on constantly correcting them. I want to cherish just being with them. Time goes by so fast, and we have to take advantage of every opportunity we have to not only teach our children but also to make happy memories with them.

As I am tempted to begin yet another authoritative commentary geared towards my children, I am going to occasionally tell myself: “No, no, stop it!”