I’m sure that some of you have been reading the posts in this channel wondering if I was purposely avoiding the big old elephant in the room. Two of the most commonly argued about topics between committed couples are children and money. We’ve certainly talked about children, but money? We’ve barely grazed the topic.

One of my girlfriends has an amazing co-parenting relationship with her ex-husband. They share custody of their sons, and in addition to the boys getting equal time with each parent, there is no order pertaining to child support. That’s right, no money exchanges hands. And their working relationship is all the more harmonious for it.

In so many cases, money creates power struggles. It creates tension. It can also create discord in a situation that was maybe already a smidge less than amicable.

Having said that, I do believe child support is an important thing. I wholeheartedly believe that both biological parents should share equal responsibility in supporting and providing for their child(ren) – child support ensures that there is a roof overhead, clothes on the child’s back, and food on the table.

The guidelines for calculating child support vary from state to state, and often, the guidelines seem less than clear, with room for leeway in the calculations. In this shifting economy, I have heard of payor’s of child support being unable to pay their own bills because they’ve been forced to accept a lesser-paying job after facing a job loss: And child support is figured by what one’s potential for earning, and not based on the jobs that are available in the current job market.

Likewise, in some cases there is an order to pay support and the payee receives nothing and in turn is left struggling in absence of funds. Not a fun scenario, either.

There is definitely a lot of room to create tension in either of those scenarios. 

Photo credit: AMagill on Flickr