My daughter is on the hunt for a “best friend.” Her life will be absolutely perfect if only she can find this one, perfect friend. “Of course,” you say, “she has to learn that nobody is perfect.” I know that, you know that, to be honest, I think she really does know that. The problem is that she isn’t even picking nice friends. She seems to have a penchant for finding the most manipulative person in her vicinity and trying to make that person her best friend.

I know two things to be true. My daughter herself is not perfect. Sometimes she might even be hurtful to another child, either intentionally or unintentionally. I am not turning a blind eye to her own issues in the interest of blaming everyone else for her problems. Nevertheless, my mama bear instincts are clawing their way to the surface. Why can’t these girls just be nice to my daughter? And sometimes, why don’t their mothers teach them how to be nice?

The second thing that is true is that I cannot choose my daughter’s friends for her. I cannot learn her life lessons for her. I cannot save her and protect her from the hurt that comes from growing up. I can walk alongside of her, encourage her, even offer a well-timed word of advice. Regardless, she is going to have to learn how to make her own decisions as well as how to live with the consequences of those decisions.

I think growing up is more painful the second time around…
Photo by QT1p