Parenting a special needs child is often a community effort. As the old saying goes -  it really does take a village to raise a child. Your special needs child, just like any other child, may often be in the hands of someone other than you – at school, church, special groups, play dates, or even just at family gatherings. This is where the similarities end.

Special needs children live by a different set of standards and, therefore, must often be handled differently.

Special needs children live by a different set of standards and, therefore, must often be handled differently in order to benefit from what is going on around them, or to simply be able to be involved at all. They must be engaged differently, kept on track differently, given certain leeway – depending on what their special needs are. Taking all of this into consideration will make for a much better experience for you, the child, and other children who are also involved in the activities.

Following are some tips and techniques from Parenting Partner that will work in many settings with many different types of special needs kids:

• limit steps to three at a time in instructions
• take crayons and distracting materials when finished using them
• provide lots of creativity and variation within a set structure
• use positive language
• provide think time
• pause to create suspense
• change your tone of voice, whisper
• provide second chances
• catch people doing good
• recognize signs of distress
• recognize need for fidgeting
• provide time for hands-on activities
• emphasize and find the similarities between you and the child
• break tasks down to smaller steps

When you are losing them:

• realize a child acts out because their needs are not being met, they are in distress
• change it up , do things differently
• rearrange the environment
• remove unnecessary requests
• move closer or further away
• use humor
• ask a simple question, one that is unrelated
• listen
• offer support
• use the words “I noticed…”

A little knowledge goes a long way in interacting with special needs children. Every child has a different view of what is going on around him, often based upon what is going on within him. These tips are a good start to developing ways to engage special needs kids in activities when they are not “on the same page” as everyone else around them.