Wouldn’t it be nice to have complete harmony among our children? Don’t we all dream of siblings who cooperate with one another? Can’t parents do something to cut down on the sibling rivalry that wreaks havoc on our family time?

Absolutely. While there’s certainly no magic wand that will make our kids be best friends, there are things we can intentionally do to encourage sibling cooperation.

• Don’t compare our children. Instead, work to encourage and nurture the strengths unique to each of them.
• Avoid getting too involved in their conflicts (unless, of course, they get physical or otherwise dangerous). Teach them to work things out for themselves.
• Assign some chores to be done together.
• Spend plenty of one-on-one time with each child so they don’t feel like they are having to compete for our attention.
• NEVER play favorites.
• Plan family vacations and activities so the kids have fun time to spend with one another away from other friends and distractions.
• Check our own attitudes. Rather than assuming there will be rivalry, set the expectation that they will be close.
• Foster an atmosphere of cooperation rather than competition. For example, have them race against a timer to clean up toys. Don’t have them race against one another.
• If children are old enough, consider having regular family meetings. When the kids feel they have a voice, they’re more likely to cooperate with the family’s goals and expectations.

Though it’s not likely to happen overnight, it is indeed possible to encourage sibling cooperation and to build strong family ties. These relationships will sustain them and will influence other important relationships in their future.

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