When I first decided to write this article, I had a whole different vision for it. I thought I was going to write about how to deal with, and hopefully stop multiples in the midst of tantrums. But lets face it, I am a young mom with 5 young children, and I am still learning how to get through a tantrum without throwing one myself.

I’m still learning how to get through a tantrum without throwing one myself.

So you might not take a lot of knowledge away from this, but I hope you feel encouraged and know that you are not alone in this maddening world of raising  multiples. I think the most important thing every mom can remember when dealing with an unruly child is: you are not alone. You may know moms who say that their kids don’t throw tantrums or get out of hand, but guess what…that is a lie. Flat out, without a doubt, not true. Every child has their days. Period.

What a lot of people don’t know is that our multiples didn’t just start into a tantrum at random. Usually they are both flipping out because they are fighting over something. That is just one rule of a life filled with multiples. They can comfort each other like no one else, and they can enrage each other like no one else. What might start as a small disagreement between multiples, can turn into 2 or more simultaneous tantrums. So we have to settle a fight and calm a tantrum.

There isn’t just one right way to deal with children throwing fits, especially with multiples. The problem we face is that usually when one melts down, the other follows and then it’s an all out scene. Everyone is looking, whispering, wondering, and sometimes rolling eyes. But you know what? I am doing the best I can to teach each of these kids to behave, and not every kid (even in a set of multiples) is the same. I have to work with each child in different ways. The things that work best for us, in no specific order are:

-Obviously, remove the child from the situation. Sometimes kids are just overwhelmed by certain situations, and they need to be taken out of it.

-We give “time warnings.”  This helps when we are getting ready to leave somewhere. They get plenty warnings that we are leaving soon, and this seems to cut back on the tantrum reaction to an abrupt exit.

-Follow through on punishment. It is easy to dish out a punishment in the middle of Target, and then not follow through with it after you leave. Keep your word even when the child all the sudden turns into the perfect kid for the ride home.

-And finally, the most important thing: Stay Calm. It will keep the whole situation a little more under control. There is no reason to have a child and a parent having a melt down. In the midst of you being calm with your tantruming multiples, take a look around at all the moms you think are watching, and remember that they have been there. They have dealt with this or will deal with this. And dealing with 2 or more tantrums at a time, is a whole other ballgame than dealing with just one.

So be calm and know that you are not alone. There are many moms that go through this everyday. You are doing the best you can with what little patience and energy you have left.  They are little. Love them, teach them, train them, and forgive them…they are also doing the best they can.

(photo by clairity)