When I was a little girl, you did what Mama said and you surely didn’t go against what Grandmother suggested.

As a school student, my teachers influenced what was the right and wrong way to handle how to do things as well as when to do things. High school brought on a whole new group of influencers: the bandies, the cheerleaders, the preps, the farm clubs, the choir. Each group brought their own rules to the table. Church, politics, cultures and towns brought even more boundaries for inclusion in their memberships. Marriage brought another person’s rules, values and experiences into my life.

Then came the children. At the moment my first child was born, I realized that now I was the one who would choose how he/she would be influenced, what he/she would be served as “the rules” of how life should be done. The values and beliefs that I would surround him/her with as a young person would be a far-reaching influence.

About three years into my parenting experience,  I realized that as an adult I can choose or not choose the rules I grew up with. The boundaries my family or my husband’s  family had would be something we would be able to change or keep based on our own belief of the rule’s value. Where to spend holidays, how to spend money, how to include or exclude others in our lives. Those values would be ours. As I really thought about my life I realized that so much of what I do, who I am, I am simply because someone else was. I fix eggs most days for breakfast because my mom did, yet I realized later I don’t even LIKE eggs for breakfast. I began to notice that I loved foods I never served at home because my family when I was a child. I chose paints and cars because others in my husband’s family did it that way.

Our influencers are impactive. Our children’s influencers are powerful. How many of the “silent rules” you keep into play in your own life really have no cognizant reason to remain in your life? Where do you limit yourself? What would you prefer to do with your time/money/relationships? Whose rules are ruling your life?

(photo credit)