When my husband and I started dating, I had been a single mother for the first few years of my daughter’s life.  As a single mother, my focus was solely my daughter and rarely were there ever compromises made, she and I did what we wanted and if we didn’t want to then we didn’t.  So the first time he made the comment “You need to teach your daughter how to behave in the movies” my mom radar went off and I instinctively assumed he was critizing my parenting and quickly retorted with “Well you need to not feed your son at midnight because he refused to eat dinner and now wants dinner.”  Our children at that time were 2 and 3 and up until that point, had single parents who didn’t have to take anyone else into consideration when making decisions.

Fast forward 5 years and you have a family that no longer has clear cut lines between “yours and mine.”  It is not easy, as a parent, to let it go when someone critiques (or makes unrequested) parenting suggestions, and no easier when that person is a significant other.  I have had to learn that I am no longer a single parent, but part of a unit and together we make decisions about our children.  I have had to learn that I am no less their parent if I didn’t ‘give birth’ to them.  I have had to learn that there are other ways to teach, learn and parent.  The ordinary statement of “Your child….” or “My child” takes on a whole new meaning in a blended family and I have had to learn that does not mean I am a bad parent.

Blended families learn to adjust and blend and become a unit, children learn from both parents despite their biological roots.  It is not about yours and mine, but about ours and the love that is given to them all equally.

**Kel can be found chasing a toddler, musing about a 7 going on 17 year old and plotting ways to drive her hubby mad at CafeKel.