In today’s world, many of our pets have moved away from their roles as working animals and into our homes and bedrooms, often being regarded as family members and friends. This change in the way we regard our pets also leads to some paradoxes when we lose a beloved pet to illness or injury.

Pet Owners and Grief

Because many people now see their pets as parts of their family, sometimes even thinking of them as surrogate children, the death of a pet can be devastating. Pet owners face the same kind of grief that would be experienced with the passing of a family member or close friend. However, society as a whole often does not recognize the depth of emotion, turmoil and depression that a bereaved pet owner experiences.

With the loss of a human family member, a grieving person is forgiven and maybe even expected to take time out of their work. They are supported by others who are sympathetic to the loss. However, this may not be the case with the loss of a pet.

Many times, pet owners are faced with friends and family who simply do not understand that grieving for a pet is no different than grieving for a person. Well-meaning but mislead friends and family members may urge the grieving pet owner to simply get over the loss. There is often the feeling, even if left unspoken, that the loss was “only” that of a pet. This often leaves the pet owner feeling lost and alone. She may even feel embarrassed at having feelings of grief for her lost pet.

Dealing with the Death of a Pet

If you are trying to survive the loss of a pet, give yourself permission to grieve. That may mean that you need to disregard the opinions of others around who may be giving you different advice. People that are not animal lovers and do not have pets may be particularly unable to understand your feelings. Remember that these people usually mean to help but they may not know what is best for you in this particular circumstance.

Do not be embarrassed to seek professional help if needed. Joining a support group can connect you with people who are sharing the same type of pain and grief. Sometimes talking with someone who understands and has shared the same experience is helpful. Talking to a trained therapist may be helpful as well. A therapist may be able to help you move through the stages of grief and begin to deal with your emotions.

In this interview, Gael J. Ross, psychotherapist and author of A 30 Day Guide to Healing from the Loss of Your Pet talks about how to deal with the loss of a pet. She provides a description of the different stages of grief and offers suggestions for coping with your pet’s death.

Most importantly, recognize that healing is a process. It does not happen instantaneously and it takes place in stages. You may also slide back and forth between different stages of grief from day to day.