With the new movie He’s Just Not That Into You starring Jennifer Aniston in production, I decided to give the book it’s based on a read. And I must say; I’m just not that into it. The book might as well be titled: If the Guy Isn’t Pawing at You and Trying to Get Into Your Pants Every Chance He Gets, He’s Just Not That Into You.

I agree with a few of the points that authors, Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo illustrate. For instance, if a man never contacts you again after date one, then he’s just not into you. And also that it’s never okay to date a married man. Or if he’s cheating on you during courtship then wedding plans are probably premature; so you may want to hold off on putting that Vera Wang on layaway or choosing your maid of honor.

But let’s face it; relationships are messy. Women are notorious for putting out mixed signals. We are a manipulative bunch. Often we put on a false front so we don’t appear too anxious for something serious and then we try to figure a man out when he takes us at our word. If you tell a man that you’re trying to get to know a little better by dating, that you’re just looking for something casual right now, and then he LISTENS to that, and acknowledges it by keeping some distance, does that mean he’s not into you? Or is he respecting your wishes?

Chapter four clearly states that if the guy isn’t having sex with you, then he’s just not into you. Really? It also states that if a man is not trying to undress you, he’s not into you. You don’t say. What the author IS saying is that chivalry has committed mass suicide and there are no gentlemen left in the world. If you invite a man back to your place and he declines, does it, in fact, mean that he’s just not into you? Or could it possibly be that he has a modicum of respect for you and instead of embarrassing you by saying “excuse me, you Jezebel, can we at least get to know each other a little better?”; he excuses himself by claiming to have an early meeting?

Chapter seven tells us that if he doesn’t want to marry you then he’s just not that into you. I say, isn’t that what the dating process is for? To determine if we’re spending time with the person we might want by our side for eternity? To quote the book:

“Just remember this. Every man you have ever dated who has said he doesn’t want to get married or doesn’t believe in marriage, or has “issues” with marriage, will, rest assured, someday be married. It just will never be with you.”

Huh. Now ain’t that a dilly. If I had read this book in 1994 and heeded the advice, I wouldn’t be a married woman of twelve years; having spent the last fourteen years with a man, who at first, claimed he wasn’t sure about marriage. The same man that I told early on that I had just come out of a relationship and wasn’t sure if I was looking to get married.

As far as advice books go, I give it a “meh.” But I’m sure the movie will be hilarious!

Brought to you by Tootsie Farklepants who can be found on her blog Vintage Thirty where just about anything is the topic du jour.