Courtesy FOX

This week auditions took place just outside of Jacksonville, FL, at the picturesque Amelia Island Plantation (I’ve been here!) with plenty of misses and a few hits.

The show dubbed Jacksonville “The Dog Town” in honor of Randy Jackson, but to clarify he is not actually from Jacksonville, rather Baton Rouge.

Joshua Ulloa, 22, was the first to make it through to Hollywood. He bears a striking resemblance to Season 1 Runner-Up Justin Guarini – let’s hope he won’t suffer the same fate as Guarini with canceled contracts and movie bombs.

Then Sharon Wilbur, 25, and her Shit-zu Sasha (say that 5 times fast) livened things up quite a bit. The dog ended up on Simon’s lap, while Sarah’s singing prompted a Paula and Kara make-out session, although Kara seemed disappointed this moment wasn’t shared with Simon. Regardless of the nonsense Sarah is through to Hollywood.

Kaneswa Finnie, 16, sang Anita Baker’s Caught up in the Rapture of Love so horrifically that I am sure Baker wished she had never begun singing so no one would have to suffer through listening to Finnie butcher it. Simon summed it up, “It actually got progressively worse.” The judges even dragged Finnie’s mother in to reprimand her for telling this child she could sing.

There were some token ‘criers,’ including Naomi Sykes, 25, who insisted on bringing her friend in to meet the judges, who somehow ended up sitting on Randy’s lap. Palua moved to Simon’s lap, and even Ryan came in to sit on Kara’s lap (clearly everyone’s laps had been feeling neglected). Even with all the affection and good times Naomi was reduced to tears when the judges thought she was joking since the singing was just that bad.

I cannot in good conscious leave out the man with the guitar – Michael Perrelli, 18. He was beyond freaked out with the thought of not being able to use the guitar. I am talking TEARS STREAMING DOWN HIS FACE freaked out.

I do have another prediction for the top 12 – Jasmine Murrary, 16. She is talented and beautiful – I see her breezing through Hollywood week.

A friend made a poignant observation to me – and we have all had this thought before – how do some of these people not know just how bad they are. And WHO is encouraging this singing. Everyone has a talent, but not everyone is talented at singing. I have a recurring nightmare that I will audition for Idol, with a crowd of my friends and family supporting me, while secretly they are all thinking they should have told me that my singing sounds just a little worse than nails on a chalkboard.

For more of Natalie Streber’s writing (not singing), check out www.fourformom.com