The top news story around seems to be…no, not the Democratic National Convention. The Olympics? That’s so August. Britney Spears’ weight loss? Is that a metaphor for losing her sanity along with her two children? Well, who would know, because the topic at hand is Kim Kardashian’s foot injury.

The Dancing with The Stars contestant (where the definition of ‘star’ equals socialite with a reality show) admits on her website to slicing her foot [she says foot, I say toe] open on the broken mirrored desk in her New York City hotel room. Ms. Kardashian was horrified at the sight of all the blood; but judging by the photo she has posted, personally, I’ve seen more carnage on the collar of my husband’s shirt on an average Monday morning. And Ms. Kardashian, you haven’t seen blood until you’ve witnessed your toddler son’s head accosted by a random Hot Wheels car hurled with reckless abandon by one of his peers. Head wounds are notoriously bleedy and pulsy and spurty. Mothers with weaker constitutions have had to break open a smelling salts or two.

Who wants to take bets that Kim Kardashian will use her foot injury as an excuse for a poorly executed dance routine? I’ll get my bookie on the phone. Better yet, let’s take this wager to Vegas and party later at TAO. With Kim Kardashian, of course.

Brought to you by Tootsie Farklepants who can be found on her blog Vintage Thirty where just about anything is the topic du jour.