Survivor opens the same way it always does, with Fang returning from tribal council. Ace tries to figure out who he can align with on the tribe to get him to the merge. Matty, who is probably as sick of his tribe as the rest of us, agrees to make an alliance with Ace as long as he can take Kenny with him. Ace agrees as long as he can bring Sugar. They seal the deal by swearing on their mother and girlfriend’s lives, which we know from the Johnny Fairplay days, carries a lot of weight.

Meanwhile over at Kota, Dan continues to annoy his new tribe by eating his weight in rice. This is completely opposite of what is going on at his old camp which barely has any rice left. Enough for about 3 kernels a meal. Kenny laments that in the beginning they were throwing tons of waste away. Good planning on the Fang tribe yet again.

Reward challenge is for a bunch of extremely unhealthy breakfast foods. It is the typical “carry something heavy around a circular course and try and catch the other tribe”. Fang takes an early lead, but after one lap Kota begins to pull ahead. Sugar, Kenny and Kelly drop our and Kota pulls away. Then Crystal pulls out and just Maddy and Ace are left, carrying the tribe literally now. Kota wins it with little effort.

To rub salt in the wound, Kota starts eating their reward in front of the other tribe. Randy makes sure really rub it in by taunting them in their loss. Way to be a stand up guy, Randy. Kota chooses to send Sugar back to exile island where she loses it a bit. Back at the challengec Crystal loses it a bit. The whole tribe is sick of losing. Matty and Ace seem to be the only two with any fire left in them. Crystal then tries to fight back after her meltdown and prove herself not to be GC in a skirt (actually tiny little shorts). Her attempts to prove herself as strong are suspect when she hasn’t really performed up to her boasting about herself at any of the challenges.

Immunity challenge is an obstacle course competing in pairs. As is standard, Fang starts out with a lead, but quickly loses it as they run out of steam. Ace and Crystal make up a lot of ground and cut the lead. Matty and Kenny perform unbelievably and overtake Kota. They both arrive back at the mat at the same time and it is a race to assemble the flagpole. Kota assembles it well by using teamwork while Ace reuses to let anyone help him and Fang loses yet again.

Fang is in disagreement about who to vote off so everyone goes off into the woods to scheme. Ace wants Kelly off, Crystal wants Ace off. Sugar continues to play the weirdest game of Survivor ever and tells Kenny she gave the idol to Ace. Sugar sneaks the idol back from Ace, but tells him later she did it. Going into tribal it is completely unclear who is getting voted off, or at least it has been edited so we think so.

At tribal, Crystal and Kelly get into it at tribal over Crystal crying. Kelly tries to throw Ace under the bus with her when Crystal starts verbally beating up on her leading to a face off between Ace and Kelly. Kelly can hardly string three words together and definitely can not hold her own in a war of words. In the end she probably should have kept her mouth shut cause she got sent packing.

Gratuitous Use of Tears: Crystal and Sugar

Gourmet Meal of the Week: Turtle stew caught by Randy and Bob

Sometimes Jill’s days feel like a day in the life of a Fang tribe member. You can read about it over at The Diaper Diaries.