SAHM AMBITION & IDENTITY
There are days when I wonder if giving up a promising career as an elementary school teacher was the smart path to take. These doubts are also partnered with negative comments and stereotypes from others. Many of those comments center around identity and ambition.
SAHM Sharpened Identity
I wanted to be the fun mom who lets their children paint indoors, choose their own outfits and dance in the muddy puddles. Since having children I have learned that control and fun rarely exist at the same time. As a result, I had to wrestle with my desire for control. The same way that my students’ achievements reflected on me as a teacher, my children’s behavior was a blow to my ego and forced me to take a good look at my desire for perfection.
When I told my colleagues that I was going to be a SAHM they told me that I was going to lose my identity. I didn’t lose my identity. Instead I lost any pretenses about who I was and could be. Stay at home motherhood held a mirror to me every time I disciplined my children and interacted with them. As a SAHM, validation (which is tied into identity) is complex and never immediate. You wrestle with your identity as you seek to feel good about your work.
SAHM Bold Ambition
There is an assumption that SAHM’s are not ambitious. Ambition is usually associated with status and the acquisition of wealth and position. The true meaning of the term ambition relates to a desire for attaining a goal. Since staying at home with my children I have never developed such a strong desire for anything in my life. Nothing could compare to the desire to inspire my children to become strong, independent, and morally courageous. This is why I have devouted this stage of their lives to full time mommy hood.
My identity and ambitions stay with me whether I am a teacher, a homemaker, a caretaker or a student. I found that raising my children full time forced me to wrestle with and later shape my identity.
Being a SAHM didn’t make me lose my identity it helped me find out exactly who I am and who I want to be.
Photo property of the author and used with permission.
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Wow..how perfect for me to read this today~ Thanks for always inspiring me
I like your take on this. I’ve struggled with my identity since becoming a SAHM. I need to remember your post for those bad days.
I totally agree with your post. In May, I resigned from a corporate career to be a SAHM. Tuesday night I was at a church social function when a friend of husband asked me if I missed working. I said, I am working, I have the most important job in the world, raising children. He smiled and said, You’re right.