By Marcy | Leave A Comment
This just in….getting older is hard. And not fun at all. And Oprah saying things like ‘nothing feels better than being in your 50′s’ is a load of bull-honky. What she should say is ‘nothing feels better than being able to buy half the world.’ Why yes, then getting older would feel GREAT now wouldn’t it?
I have never been KNOWN to be obsessively vain. Meaning I don’t think folks would categorize me as that….but the truth is. I. AM. From the first stray gray I found on my head at 21 to the lines by my eyes at 30…I died a little bit inside with every sign of aging. And now I am facing the inevitable question faced by millions of women approaching 40 years of age. No, not “should I cut bangs or get botox”. That one has an easy answer…no these days I am asking myself “have I done ENOUGH so far?”. The answer of course is an important one. If you can say YES (and mean it), well then by golly congratulations. But if you are a type-A over achiever/multi-tasker like ME….then no mater what you have done you will say NO. NO I have not done enough yet. I can’t be pushing 40 ALREADY! Someone stop this ride…so I can catch up! And all while this little crisis is going on- I have to deal with daily aging fashion dilemmas such as…
1. When am I too old to wear T-shirts with funny sayings on them? What about band T-shirts? I recently picked up a vintage Stones tee and my 10 yr old son LAUGHED. Apparently NOW is too old for me!
2. When am I too old to pull off having long hair? When is long hair just looking like you are trying to distract from all that gravity is doing all over your face? And how about my once signature pig tails? When will I start to look like a middle age Gidget?
3. When am I too old to wear a mini skirt? I suppose when my knees look like I am wearing un-ironed linen pants I should stop. Yes, lets let the knees be the guide.
4. When am I too old to show a little cleavage? I have always believed in the ‘if you got it, then flaunt it’ philosophy…but when is enough enough? I mean when is it just plain disturbing?
5. When am I too old to wear shorts with heels? Sure a current trend…but at some point you look like you are trying just a little too hard.
6. Is there an official age when I should start wearing neck scarves and gloves to hide my aging parts a la Diane Keaton?
Oh there are hundreds of other aging dilemmas….I am sure you have several of your own. Of course if you don’t- then you are all of 20 years old and EVERYTHING works on you. But just wait sweetie…gravity catches up with all of us. yes, even you.
Marcy writes her “Is it Just Me?” column for Blissfully Domestic every Friday. But for the rest of the week you can visit her at The Glamorous Life Association, where she is inevitably wearing an inappropriate outfit for her age.
(all photos are courtesy of Google Images. And no Gwen doesn’t look like that. Well, not YET.)
ABOUT Marcy
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I love this post!! You are right on the money here. I’ve been wondering the same things for a bit now as well.
Got a good laugh! Thanks for sharing.
Ciao
I think with maturity the advantage is you don’t have to wear mini skirts, long hair and heels with shorts. You are just fabulous without all that crap!
Marcy, you are freaking hilarious.
Gah!! that last photo!
Yes – it’s disheartening. No heels with shorts – hell, no shorts anymore! The cleavage? When its wrinkly, time to cover up. Neck scarves and gloves? now that’s going too far.
Oh dear Marcy. I’ve had bangs for years. Long Long bangs because my foreheads wrinkles have wrinkles. I even bought forehead spackle from Este Lauder to fill in the wrinkles if I need to make a good impression. Or if it is windy and my bangs might move. I once tried to see if I could carry a pencil in my forehead wrinkle and I couldn’t but I could carry a piece .7mm of lead for inside a mechanical pencil. All was funny for me until David said get the lead out.
Funny shirts are out of the question, but I am not giving into anything that has embroider leaves with glittered outlines either. That’s for really people that are so olde that you need to add an extra e to olde, like ye olde folk. The leaves on shirts are never funny. Unless it is like pot leaves but that might go under the category of shirts that have subliminal messages.
If I had a neck like Candace Bergin and could afford THE TO DIE FOR scarves, I would wrap my chin waddle up tightly in scarves made from baby seals or the ears of weimeraner pups, or silk.
P.S. Where are Gwen Stefani’s breasts?
Oh my goodness the Gwen pic is too much, doesn’t the woman have a mirror maybe it is broken.
1) long hair- depends on you- what you look like in it- my .02 is that most older women look better in hair that ends at the shoulders. I am wearing a shag again. Then others tell me I don’t look my 56yrs.
2) short skirts-mini- ugly glad that thing is gone!
3) Cleavage- Why do you want to show it off? I don’t like somebodies hanging out for my husband to see- I want to say honey I have them too but you need to cover them- hanging them out makes you look cheap. I am not jealous, my are fine- I just chose not to show them.
4)T-shirts If they are clean and neat why not. Just make sure they cover your stomach. Women in 50′s usually have c-section scars, stretch marks- ewwwww I don’t even like my own, I don’t want to see yours.
5)Neck scarves and gloves—pleaseeeeeee – reminds me of Michael Jackson… creepy! Wear your necklaces longer- not hitting at the wrinkles.
6) dress up a little, put makeup on- whatever happened to elegance- Older women look better dressed up.
Marcy, you could have gotten away with telling the world you’re pushing 30. Not that 40 is anything to be ashamed of — of course not! — but you could have gotten away with it. Just so you know.
CRACK! Marcy hits one out of the park again . . .