I recently had a reader of my blog berate me for a post I wrote. I was actually quite stunned by the comment when it appeared in my inbox and strongly considered hitting the “delete” button. I’m no stranger to negative feedback – I’m a freelance writer, after all – an I wrote a book which had some controversial elements in it. But this commenter was not just taking issue with my post, she began to insult me personally as well.

I didn’t delete the post immediately. I thought about for a while. And then I thought, “if I truly believe what I wrote, then I should be able to stand up for it – and myself.”

I approved the comment and then went on to my blog and left a comment of my own. I was very polite, but also very firm in my conviction and tone. I refused to back down from my position but acceded to my detractors’ perspective – allowing that her opinion was valid, but that I didn’t share it.

What ensued after that was a back and forth commenting discussion where we pretty much agreed to disagree. The great thing was that other readers “got in” on the argument as well and offered interesting perspectives. I found that my blog actually got more traffic because of the great conversation and the follow-up.

Here are a few ways to help you deal with negative or insulting comments:

1. Embrace them. If the comments are not personally insulting or don’t use profane or obscene language, then perhaps you can reflect on their ideas and respond appropriately.

2. Delete them. If the commentors are focused on insulting you personally or using disparaging language – or just plain hurting your feelings, go ahead and delete without remorse. While new ideas and an honest exchange of opinions is welcome and can help your blog, allowing people to berate you on your own blog isn’t necessary.

3. Encourage them. Did you post something on a controversial topic? Encouraging more people to comment with their opinions can help your traffic and your image as being welcoming to many points of view.

4. Be honest. Did the commenter hurt your feelings? Say so! There is nothing that says more about you and your blog than being honest in how you respond to both negative and positive feedback. Showing your readers that you’re a real person – with real feelings – will go a long way toward responding to anyone who made negative attacks on your blog. And it may help rally your regular readers in support of you.

5. Publish follow-ups. Rather than keep the comments going, I used one of my detractors comments as the basis for a whole new article. Negative commenting as inspiration – who knew?